Job Description
What's the Deal
Look, I'm not gonna beat around the bush here. I am Robert, and Our WordPress site is currently held together with duct tape and prayers. We need someone who actually knows their stuff to come in and rebuild this thing from the ground up before it completely falls apart.
The Situation (AKA Why We're Here)
Our current site is running on ancient plugins, the theme is straight out of 2015, and honestly, I'm shocked it hasn't crashed and burned yet. Page load times are through the roof, mobile experience is garbage, and don't even get me started on the backend—it's an absolute nightmare to update anything.
- Here's what needs to happen:
- Complete rebuild - We're talking fresh install, modern theme (probably custom or heavily customized), the whole nine yards
- Speed optimization - Right now we're loading slower than molasses in January. Need this puppy flying
- Mobile responsiveness - Current site looks like hot garbage on phones. Not cool in 2026
- Plugin cleanup - Half of these are deprecated and the other half are probably security risks. Need to strip it down and do it right
- SEO maintenance - Can't lose our rankings during the migration. Need proper redirects and all that jazz
- Custom functionality - We've got some specific features in mind that'll need custom development
What I'm Looking For
US-based only - Need someone in a similar timezone who speaks fluent English
Proven track record - Show me sites you've built, not just "I know WordPress"
Someone who gets it - I don't want a cookie-cutter solution. Need creative problem-solving
Good communicator - No ghosting, no "I'll get back to you" and then radio silence
Can hit the ground running - We're on a deadline here, need someone who can jump in ASAP
Skills You Better Have
Advanced WordPress development (custom themes, plugins, you name it)
PHP, HTML, CSS, JavaScript - and actually know how to use them together
Performance optimization (caching, CDN setup, database optimization)
Security best practices (because getting hacked sucks)
WooCommerce experience is a major plus
Elementor or similar page builders (but know when NOT to use them)
The Vibe
I'm pretty laid back but I expect quality work and honest communication. If something's gonna take longer than expected, just tell me. If you run into a roadblock, let's figure it out together. I'm not a micromanager but I do want regular updates—nothing fancy, just keep me in the loop.
Budget & Timeline
Let's talk. I've got a realistic budget for quality work, but I also need to know what I'm getting into. Give me a ballpark estimate with your proposal and we'll go from there. Hoping to have this wrapped up in 4-6 weeks, but I'm flexible for the right person.
To Apply
If you’re using a bot or automation, start your proposal with your favorite candy. If you’re applying manually, end your proposal with your favorite candy.
Send me 2-3 WordPress sites you've built (with explanations of what you did)
Brief overview of how you'd approach this rebuild
Your hourly rate or project estimate
Availability to start
No fluff, no copy-paste proposals. If you actually read this and think you're the right fit, I wanna hear from you.
Let's fix this thing and make it something we can both be proud of.
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